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#361 Two Real-Life Lessons for Funders

February 10th, 2020

Richard Marker

Long time readers know that I don’t ever name names. In the case of this post, I had to think about it for a while but then decided that, even this time, I won’t. Trust me, you would know them, and it would make the anecdotes I am about to share more real, but it might derail from my main points. So…

Anecdote #1: I went to an office supply store to pick up a couple of items. The amount wasn’t that great, so I decided to pay with cash. How luddite of me! Unfortunately, the person who checked me out miscounted the change by a few dollars. Thus, began an episode worthy of an old comedy skit.

The aforementioned salesperson couldn’t figure out how to get the register open again or even how much the correct change was supposed to be. She assured me that she has a PhD [she mentioned a first-rate university – also not named here in order to save them embarrassment] and since she only worked at the store part time, she didn’t know how the system worked. [Nor, it appears, did she know basic arithmetic.] So, she called a supervisor over to help. This new person needed to get the receipt in order to proceed but it was an e-receipt, so there wasn’t one to look at. She too couldn’t figure out how to open the machine, nor could she figure out the correct change [despite taking out a pen and paper to calculate it]. The two people at the register then called someone else, a super-supervisor I assume, who started all over again. She then went to another register to do some machinations related to my purchase, and about 10 minutes later returned, entered my purchases all over again, and gave me the $4.58 change.

All told, this process of checking out 3 small items took over 45 minutes.

I found myself wondering what would have happened if this had been a nonprofit that didn’t receive the correct amount promised by a foundation. Would they be dissed if they asked? Or given the run around to protect an administrative snafu? Or go through hoops to collect what had been contractually promised? Sadly, I have seen all of this.

Which brings me to anecdote #2.

It really wasn’t my day at all. That very same day, I needed to deal with a national phone and wireless company regarding a problem with my log-in. Somehow, the code had been compromised. It took me a while to determine the cause: I had 2 separate arrangements with this company and needed to make a billing change with one. Unfortunately, I ultimately realized, the agent on the phone had made changes to the wrong account and in so doing nullified my log-in.

Thus began an even longer process of correcting all of this. First I worked hard to locate a phone number. When I called, after endless phone menu options, I finally got to a real-life agent, who asked for all of my info, and them determined that I had to talk to someone else. The next person asked for all of the same info and also then said that it was the wrong department. The final live agent informed me, after gathering all of the very same information, that the firm no longer allowed one to address my issues through a live person – I had to make all the changes online but could consult the chat line on the site if I needed help. Eventually, the password was reset, and I was able to activate service without which it would have been impossible to function in this post-modern often surreal world. Total time for this entire exchange, almost 2 hours!

I guess I have a one-track mind since, here again, I found myself imagining the experience of a small non-profit trying to get some information from a large bureaucratic foundation. Calls to their office are deflected to the website Their website affirms that their on-line process is the way in which a grant-seeker is expected to communicate but one may have to proceed through numerous menu options before, hopefully, finding out the one bit of needed information.

One often hears stories like this from npo’s/ngo’s challenged by their experience with inscrutable foundations with impenetrable fortresses. Not every foundation has yet adopted best practices or gone through a CEP type self-analysis.

Now, let me be very fair: I used to head a foundation and was regularly bombarded by inappropriate or nonsense inquiries, or by those who simply didn’t want to accept what was stated clearly about our parameters and priorities, or even by our decisions. The grant seeker is not always correct; and surely not all of us are heartless bureaucrats; nor are all of our systems arcane.

But my experience with the two household-name companies with which I was trying to do routine business reminded me that we should not automatically dismiss what we might hear from those who seek our funds about what it is like to do business with us. We need to listen. They might be right.

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